Thursday 31 May 2007

Uninvited guest

Great. Jeddah is here.

I bet he invited himself; Ellen would never, that's for sure!

Apparently he's staying for the entire weekend. How come HE got to sit on the sofa with his head in Ellen's lap all evening?

Tuesday 29 May 2007

1/2 a measly cup

I seem to be on a diet again. It's the only way I can explain the lack of FOOD. For a few months, all I had to do was smooch and grovel -- plus throw in the occasional scratch-attack -- and food would appear. But now the extra has stopped again. Doesn't she know it's winter and I need MORE food, not less? How I am supposed to survive on 1/2 a measly cup of food per day? I need to keep up my strength!

Sunday 27 May 2007


The past few days, I've been plagued by ants in my food bowl. Who do they think they are, the itty bitty bastards? There have been thousands of the creepy crawly critters, swarming all over my food.

It made me vomit.

It's also made me wonder, though, what they think they're trying to achieve? It's not like they can really carry individual food pellets. Are they trying to break bits off and carry them away? Or do they plan to team up and become pall bearers -- four ants per coffin . . . er, I mean food pellet?

More to the point, I thought ants only came out when rain was coming (and there's been little sign of rain . . . ). Where do they come from? Where do they go? WHY do they like MY food?

Tuesday 22 May 2007

Farewell Oscar

Oscar has moved away. Out of our driveway. Out of our life.

Believe it or not, I'm sad. Although we weren't exactly friends, and had our share of hissy fit stand-offs, Oscar and I were united in our hatred of the ginger cat. I hope he didn't have anything to do with her leaving.

One day we might have been friends. I'll miss her.

Friday 18 May 2007

Still yuck

The moisturiser called me again this morning. It's been a few months since they changed the recipe, but it's been luring me nevertheless. After all, Ellen smears it all over her face, and I like licking her face, don't I?

This morning, I braced myself and took a lick before she put the cap back on. (She's become slack since I've been disinterested.)

Still yuck.

Bits of bright plastic

The strangest thing happened tonight. Ellen had a bunch of friends over, plus a lady I didn't know, and they sat about staring and oogling at pieces of brightly coloured plastic.

Every so often one of her friends would pick up one of these vibrant objects, stroke it reverantly, peer at it from all sides, then put it down again. It was like they were worshipping at a temple or something.

I have absolutely no idea what was going on.

Monday 14 May 2007

A lesson in hygiene

As punishment for all that illegal urination, Ellen has refused to upload any of my posts for the past week or so. In fact I'm rather surprised she's relented today, because I haven't been totally good in the last couple of days.

We went to the island for a holiday, and I was very good until the last afternoon when I weed on the floor again. What Ellen doesn't understand is that if I must use a litter tray, then it needs to be 100% clean litter.

After all, she flushes the toilet every time she goes --- so why should I be any different? She just needs to change the litter every day and then it won't happen.

I guess it didn't help that it happened about half an hour before she wanted to leave for home. Well, I just COULDN'T hold on any longer! She'll just have to get with the program next time.

She was probably also a bit annoyed that I gave her a huge gouge on the arm that bled everywhere and now might be infected (it looks almost like she tried to slit her wrists). Her fault. She should have just allowed me to sleep in her mother's linen closet. Simple!

Anyway, I enjoyed the trip to the island this time, because that awful dog Jeddah wasn't there. It meant I had the run of the place, and I explored the balcony a bit.

Ellen cleaned like a madwoman before we left (even before she learned of my little contribution downstairs . . .) to make sure she vacuumed up every last possible speck of my fur --- not that either of us could see a speck. She was just been cautious.

Wednesday 2 May 2007

Getting on top of things

It's been a tough week and a half, but I think I'm on top of things now. The pills have stopped and I haven't urinated inappropriately for a few days. (Ellen seems to be talking to me again.)