Monday 27 April 2009

Vet check

Well, I'm just back from the vet and got an excellent bill of health. The vet said my weight is great and that I'm well muscled and very fit, which he said was a rarity among cats these days, but comes from my hardly ever being inside. So, Chenna dear, I guess you're not alone in the being-starved-for-my-health cat files. You have my commiserations. Meanwhile, I should get outside and back on that roof. Don't know why I came down in the first place -- ah, yes, the promise of milk, and instead I got poked and prodded and jabbed. Life is so unfair.

Monday 13 April 2009

Pathetic (reputation shattered)

Ellen is home.

For three weeks I've been planning and plotting how I'm going to punish her, so that when she got home she would vow and declare never to do it again. (So, I'll admit it. Being home alone isn't all it's cracked up to be. A weekend is fine. No worries. But three weeks? That's just cruel and BORING.)

Many things passed through my mind (some of which Beth has alluded to in her previous post). But how to make it really good? A punishment worthy of the period of time? After all, I've been known to leave deposits after a mere weekend! Surely three weeks deserves something more. Bigger. Grander. More of a statement! (And bodily fluids are so passe!)

So I had it all worked out. I was going to hide. Hide, so that she thought I'd run away. I was going to stay away all day, make her feel really bad. (As well as all the bodily fluid deposits of course.)

But in this I have failed dismally. I took one look at her this morning and disintegrated into a blubbering mess. I meowed and cried and sooked, and followed her around the house, completely unbelieving she was finally home and fearful she would disappear again.

I am so PATHETIC. I still cannot allow her to leave my sight. The mere thought makes me quake.

I didn't even leave her ANY deposits. I clean forgot.

So much for my devilcat reputation!

Monday 6 April 2009

What Chenna's really doing while E is away

Yes, yes, so this was taken at the island, but now we know, cats, that our friend Chenna is collaborating. Oh, all right, she's only collaborating with E!

Here's what we do know: the devilcat writes -- this blog is proof of that -- and here's the photographic evidence. She's working on a novel, I hear. What does everyone think it's about? The stupidity of man? Of dogs? The soft, fat bellies of mice and how good their gizzards taste? Or is she perhaps in the planning stages -- and writing the story of a very naughty cat who's owner has gone away, and all of the naughty things she's going to get up to. If I were E, I'd be scared. Very, very scared.