Saturday 31 January 2009

Not dead either

Well, I just want to say that I was so inspired by your post that at dinnertime tonight, I didn't show up. And after the 45 degree heat, my family feared the worst. It was naughty, I know, but I couldn't help it. Just once, I wanted to have a Chenna moment, and I can't really come at all that bitey scratchy stuff. I shouldn't have done it, especially since I got to go for a walk this morning before 7 am, and the stupid dogs got left home. Ha ha, I think that's very funny. Here's proof -- me having a lovely roll in the swamp. Yes, evidence of fighting, but that's just to prove I'm tough in my own way, Chenna baby!

Thursday 29 January 2009

Not dead

Tonight Ellen keeps asking me if I'm dead.

I suppose she could be forgiven for thinking I might be, because it's so HOT that all I can do is languish pathetically on the 'cool' timber floor.

But the lack of concern in her voice is disconcerting. Would she care if I was dead? I like to think she would.

Anyway, I'm not dead. Just Hot. And a little delirious. Obviously.

Wednesday 28 January 2009

Living without dogs

This last week my humans were away, so like Chenna I was out and about, living it up, and -- even better -- chilling out in my own backyard. Why is that such a big deal, I hear you ask, and the answer, of course, is dogs. You see, while the dogs are there, I am not.

The Blonde Bimbo's okay. She's a big klutzy bumbling thing -- she even wags her bum, not just her tail, when she sees me. But Little Red Rat Face (also known in cat circles as the Red Terror) wants to eat me. I know it. She knows it. The humans know it. The only one who doesn't seem to know it is the Blonde Bimbo, but she's dumb. As in dog dumb. Oh, yes, she *is* a dog. I forget. (I am so witty!)

So the humans went away, and the dogs went away. I don't know if they all went away together -- I suspect not because the dogs went first. But if they did all go together I would be entirely put out, because obviously a cat is so much better company than a dog. But anyway the important thing is I had the backyard to myself -- the backyard and the aviary. I could sit all day watching for mice. Bliss! I could wander at will. I could laze around the deck and not have to get to the swamp via my tightrope act on the fence. Bliss.

But, of course, all good things must come to an end (see, I'm wise, too), and they came back: the dogs, the humans, though not in that order. And then the backyard was again somewhere I have to be selective about visiting. Only yesterday I forgot. I was ambling down the yard when I spied a human hanging up wet things on the strange leafless tree, and the two great lunks lying at her feet.

I did what all self-respecting cats did: I froze. Took in the situation. Assessed the danger. Wondered where my brain was and how I'd got myself into that situation. Then I miaowed. It was meant to be a quiet miaow for the human's ears only (better to let sleeping dogs lie and all of that), only it came out louder than I meant. The Blonde Bimbo got up, wagging her bum, and walked towards me. I backed away, not so much worried about her but that she might attract the attention of Little Red Rat Face. Fortunately, though, it didn't happen -- that idiot was still lying safely in snoozeland. All the same, I made for the fence. No use taking unnecessary risks, eh?

Monday 26 January 2009

Crotchety neighbours

I'm not sure whether I should be amused or annoyed -- but I think I'm amused.

Ellen got an earful from some of the neighbours today -- not the nice friendly ones, but the crotchety elderly couple in unit 3. They accused me of defecating in their garden and making it all smelly so they can't open their window.

I mean, REALLY!

The only time I ever go out into the driveway is when Ellen lets me. She tried to explain that I only ever use the back garden (right under Ellen's window, in fact, and I've never heard her complain), but they wouldn't believe her.

Then they said they'd SEEN me. What liars! And then it turned out that they'd 'seen' me at 1am and Ellen was able to smugly tell them that I'm always locked in overnight (except for when she's away and leaves the cat door open, but she didn't mention that).

It all started getting quite nasty, with the little old woman moaning about how they were surrounded by cats on all sides (and this is in fact true, although why they had to pick on me when there are two other cats that practically live in our driveway), but then the old man started backing down and trying to be reasonable.

Who knows how it will all turn out. All I can say is that no neighbours are perfect, and it's not such a good idea to get people offside, particularly when everyone else is so chummy. Chug the spoodle next door will no doubt be the next one to incur their wrath. I saw him in their garden this afternoon . . . he'd better watch out!

Tuesday 20 January 2009

Chug the Spoodle

ALERT! A canine has moved in next door!

Ellen, the traitor, was spotted actually cuddling said canine pup, which is that strange breed known as a Spoodle. I mean, really. Spoodle? No self-respecting feline would ever be known by such a ridiculous label.

Ellen seems to think 'Chug' is rather adorable. She came up to the front door, cradling the cretin in her arms and told me (on the other side of the fly wire screen) that we were going to be fabulous friends.

As if. AS IF! Friends with a dog? Me? And what a floppy, teeny weeny ragdoll-like pup it is.

Chug. Hmmm. Chug the Spoodle. (Snigger)

Friday 16 January 2009

0.4kg down

What a weird week. Scorchingly hot, and now rather cool. When it was hot, I didn't feel like eating much. And now it's cool, all I'm faced with is that dreadful -- well, I'm not going to go on about that anymore.

The good news is that I think I've actually lost some weight! Ellen weighed me this morning, and I'm down by 0.4kg, which as a percentage of my body weight is fairly significant. Cool, huh?

Ellen's friend Lita actually said I was looking good, and that it wasn't my fault I had a flabby tummy. I like her.

Friday 9 January 2009

anti-diet strategy

I'm still off my food, but for a completely different reason. I simply CAN'T STAND the diet food Ellen keeps trying to feed me. It's DISGUSTING.

So now I either leave it there and pester Ellen until she gives me some of the real stuff. Or I chuck it up again in an attempt to make Ellen stop feeding it to me.

Today I chucked up on the couch, and I know it's bothering Ellen, as she sits there, because she keeps wrinkling her nose. Even though she cleaned it up. I think she'll need to use something stronger to get the smell out.

He he he

Sunday 4 January 2009

Off my food

Thank the cat gods that's over. Three days locked inside, all alone. Forced to use litter trays. Simply awful.

At least there were three litter trays to chose from, although I only needed one. I found I lost my appetite through the whole ordeal actually. At first I kept coughing up hairballs and then I couldn't keep any food down. So there was quite a lot of food left over.

But I survived. And aside from leaving piles of half-digested food for Ellen to clean up, I didn't make any mess at all.

But I do hope my cat door gets fixed soon!

Thursday 1 January 2009

Prisoner (complete overreaction)

I should have guessed that Ellen would completely overreact and start locking me inside every day now. Basically, unless she's home, she locks my cat door so I can't get out.

And last night, when I finally managed to get outside, she locked me out all evening! She's certainly never done that before. So there I was, forced to stay outside until she got home at almost midnight!

And NOW she tells me she's going to the island for a few days, leaving me locked inside the whole time! She's putting additional litter trays down, and the auto-flying-saucer-feeder, and then I'm stuck here with my own company until Saturday night!

I can't wait until she gets my flap fixed and the magnet works again. That will hopefully mean she'll allow the door to stay open when she goes away, because the evil demon ginger cat will be unable to get inside.

I confess I would probably rather go with her to the island, even with that pesky Jeddah dog there, than stay at home locked inside on my own. (sob)

(And now, to make matters worse, that evil ginger cat is once more trying to get inside my door! That'll just convince Ellen that she's right. Sheesh!!)