Sunday 30 September 2007

Getting used to the beach house

Back home again and happy about it too. Although I must say I'm getting used to the beach house. Even though I don't really go outside (and who would have wanted to with the dreadful weather we had), the house it quite big, so there's plenty of space to explore.

Ellen is really happy with me too, because I used my litter tray every time and she didn't have any cleaning up to do! (Except for my breakfast, which I spewed all over the floor.)

Friday 28 September 2007

The island AGAIN

Oh, no, just found out we're going to the island!

More on wee

The following exchange (in response to Devilcat tip #5, "The pros and cons of the litter tray", below) is far too good to languish in the comments section!

Beth said...
Hmm, I don't have one of those. I'm expected to hang on. My owners former cat never used one and would pee in the shower hole. I'm with you on this one -- why should I walk on that cold enamel? Clothes left on the floor are good, I always find. Or a half wet towl -- then I can be sneaky and pretend it wasn't me, that it's just shower water.BTW, my new apron has black stripes. Lucky I've hidden the camera or I'm sure they would be taking photos of it. Humans!
27 September 2007 21:39

Chenna said...
Beth, you have it in one! Clothes left on the floor are excellent.BUT even better are SHOES left on the floor. Ellen used to have a pair of leather birkenstocks she would leave around on the floor. They hold wee nicely. I have also experimented on her gorilla slippers and old netball runners.

Battery change

My cat door has a new battery in it. It's ABOUT TIME! For months and months I've been getting stuck outside, and all the time it was merely the battery that needed changing.

What does a cat door need a battery for? Well, it's to do with the magnet around my neck, that triggers a small mechanism in the door latch that allows it to open. When I come close, the latch is released and I can nudge it open with my head. The point is that none other of those pesky felines who keep invading my garden can get through the door. It's mine. All mine. Mine alone.

And praise be to the cat gods that my door worked today, for it was freezing. Spring was flushed out by a major gust of winter. Brrr.

Monday 24 September 2007

Devilcat tip#5: the pros and cons of the litter tray

This is one area in which I definitely excel, so take note, friends!

This is important. Be fussy about your litter tray. If your human doesn't change it immediately after you've used it, go outside. If you can't go outside, go on the floor. It's as simple as that.

Humans clean their toilet regularly enough, so why do they expect us to put up with reeking wet gravelly stuff? After all, we have to stand in it. It's totally gross. I can assure you that the above-mentioned tactics work a treat and will ensure a pristine litter experience every time.

OK, so going on the floor will always earn you some yelling and glaring. But they get over it.

For the record, my cat litter of choice is Maxx's.

Thursday 20 September 2007

Devilcat tip#4: scratching posts . . .

. . . are for using sometimes, but not all the time.

Don't be fooled by those humans who expect you to work out on the same piece of equipment day in, day out. There is more to life than that.

Try for some variation in your scratching. Sure, the couch arms are an old favourite of cats around the world, me included, but it's possible to get really creative. Instead of the couch, try the office desk chair, or the bed head, or the rug on the floor . . . or, if you're really game, your human's leg. I've also found that scratching underneath chairs is a really fun activity, and the humans don't get too upset, because they figure no-one can see the damage.

Whatever you do, do it properly. Don't let anyone deter you from your chosen scratching place. It's an important part of your daily routine, so don't compromise.

Monday 17 September 2007

Peace again

Thank goodness the child has gone home and I have peace again. I couldn't even get near Ellen's bed, because the child was there! I had to sleep on the sofa all night.

Today has been much better. All calm and quiet -- save for the stoush I almost had with white fluffball this evening, just as Ellen came home. What that stupid cat meant by coming up my end of the driveway, I'll never know.

Saturday 15 September 2007

Yikes, a child!

We've been invaded by a child for the weekend! Ellen's niece, four years old, always talking, always following me around the house. Sheesh, what next? I don't know that the house has ever been this crazy! What does Ellen want with a child, anyway? She's got me. That should be plenty.

Tuesday 11 September 2007

Locked in

Ellen forgot to open my door today -- B%&#$!! All day I was locked inside, gazing forlornly out at the other evil cats in the driveway, bored out of my brain. I didn't even have the heart to terrorise them through the window.

How could she do this to me? Have I not been a good kitty for weeks and weeks -- maybe even months?

To be fair, I don't think it was deliberate. She seemed very guilty when she got home, doled out my food, then found me waiting patiently beside the door. She opened it then, but all I got was a measly half an hour to go outside! Then she locked the door again.

Today has been a dud of a day.

Monday 10 September 2007

Devilcat tip#3 - the best way to wake up humans

Take one claw, flex to test, then prod sleeping human anywhere on head or face. Cheek works well. Below eye is guaranteed. Scalp also very effective.

Be prepared for humans to try to stroke you in calmness, but don't be swayed! Sit on their pillow and, ever so deliberately, stick claw into skin.

This works. Every time. Take it from me.

Saturday 8 September 2007

Devilcat tip#2 - annoy other cats

It's very important when you're a devilcat to consistently and persistently annoy other cats. This can take the form of hissing and howling through windows (if you're confined inside), or physically terrorising other felines.

The latter is particularly important when those felines invade your territory. DO NOT STAND FOR THIS. The moment you see one coming your way, you must attack attack attack immediately. Hiss, growl, snarl -- whatever it takes.

But it's also fun just to annoy them for the sake of it. You can do this by either taunting them through the window, or invading their space in return. You've got to show them who's boss all the time.

Thursday 6 September 2007

Devilcat tip#1 - bench walker

This might sound obvious, but if you want to get up on the kitchen bench then get on the bench! If they bat you off, then get up again. And again. And again.

Believe me, their patience will fade faster. They have things they'd rather be doing, such as watching TV, or eating. If you think they're going to stand there all day and bat you off the bench, you're nuts. (You could throw in some snarling and biting and scratching as well.)

Eventually, they'll give up and you'll be free to stalk the benches anytime you like. It's a great place to find food. (But that's another tip . . .)

Devilcat tips - listen up

In response to dire need, I've decided to start a new series on 'how to be a Devilcat'. I can't believe how pathetic so many of you cats out there can be.

If you want to be the kind of feline that has those pesky vets donning gloves and then still being unable to get a hand in the cage, then this series is for you.

Also, I am keen to hear any devilcat stories you may have (or at least stories about when you might have attempted to be a devilcat). Let's share the power!

The first tip starts next post.

Sunday 2 September 2007

Gardening pals

Ellen and I played together outside this afternoon. She crawled around the lawn on her hands and knees . . . (To be honest, I'm not sure what she was doing. She kept jabbing and thumping at the grass -- very odd behaviour) . . . while I chased insects and played with her gardening gloves, which smelt really fantastic!