HUNGRY

Hey, Ellen -- where the hell are you? How come it's nearly half past seven on a Friday and You're still not home? I'm HUNGRY dammit! HUNGRY.

Suffering from an Evil Eye

It's been a while since I've posted -- sorry about that. Truth is, life has been trucking along nicely. I had another night home alone and I'm starting to get used to the whirring, speaking, food contraption. Sometimes I think who needs Ellen when I've got that?

Except I do need Ellen. Today's rather sobering experience has brought it all home.

We visited the opthamologist this evening. Ellen has been going on and on about my left eye, which has changed colour over the past year or so. Maybe longer. I haven't thought much of it, but we asked Dr Caroline to look at it when we visited last month and she recommended we visit a specialist.

So today we saw Dr Chloe. And now it seems as though it might be something serious after all. Or at least it might lead to something serious. Melanoma of the iris - skin cancer of the eye! Dr Chloe says if it changes colour, goes darker, I might even need to have my eye removed!

What can you say to something like that? How would I go with only one eye? I've heard that cats can't judge distance when they only have eye. This makes leaping onto things hard. (It's hard when you're carrying a bit of extra weight as well!) And probably Ellen would make me stay inside all day, or maybe build me a cat run, instead of being able to go in and out as I choose. But maybe it would be OK . . .

There is a worse scenario of course, but let's not think about that.

I will add, however, that despite these devastating tidings, I behaved beautifully at the eye doctor today. Only one half-hearted swipe and a faint growl. Other than that, I was placid and very very very good. Dr Chloe might actually even like me. (I think it's far too late to make friends with Dr Caroline . . . I really did behave so very badly last time I saw her.)

Ellen is going to take a photo of my eye . . . I'll post it here when it's ready. Will keep you updated on the saga of my evil eye in true devilcat fashion. Is this karma?

Psst -- do you hear what I hear?

Cats of the world: be alert. I've heard whispers. I've seen photos. Cat proofing. I know it's out there. They might tell us it's to keep our turf clear of other cats marauding, but that's not the real truth. The real truth is that they're trying to keep us in! Us -- I mean what possible harm could we cause? We go out. We rid the streets of pestilence-carrying rats. We sing beautiful songs at night. We sort through rubbish bins. We don't leave messy little piles like those stupid canines, so what possible objection can there be to our being out on the street? What's not to love about a cat? I ask you!

Cats of the world -- take an inventory now. Suss out all those little places humans don't expect we can fit through. Nut out leaping points in case normal access points are covered up with cladding. We are smart. We can find out way out! Dare to find the ways. Go, cats! Go. Remember: nothing and no-one can keep a good cat in!