Crotchety neighbours

I'm not sure whether I should be amused or annoyed -- but I think I'm amused.

Ellen got an earful from some of the neighbours today -- not the nice friendly ones, but the crotchety elderly couple in unit 3. They accused me of defecating in their garden and making it all smelly so they can't open their window.

I mean, REALLY!

The only time I ever go out into the driveway is when Ellen lets me. She tried to explain that I only ever use the back garden (right under Ellen's window, in fact, and I've never heard her complain), but they wouldn't believe her.

Then they said they'd SEEN me. What liars! And then it turned out that they'd 'seen' me at 1am and Ellen was able to smugly tell them that I'm always locked in overnight (except for when she's away and leaves the cat door open, but she didn't mention that).

It all started getting quite nasty, with the little old woman moaning about how they were surrounded by cats on all sides (and this is in fact true, although why they had to pick on me when there are two other cats that practically live in our driveway), but then the old man started backing down and trying to be reasonable.

Who knows how it will all turn out. All I can say is that no neighbours are perfect, and it's not such a good idea to get people offside, particularly when everyone else is so chummy. Chug the spoodle next door will no doubt be the next one to incur their wrath. I saw him in their garden this afternoon . . . he'd better watch out!

Cunning plan

I have a cunning plan to make Ellen stop feeding me diet rubbish food: pee on the floor! It's starting to work, I can feel it. My little messages of the past couple of days are having their effect!

Let me explain. I have been on a special diet for the last year or so, specially designed to prevent me from having bladder inflammation etc. (Enough said.) But by mixing the diet rubbish food with my special food, there's a chance it will stop having the positive effect, and I'll start having problems again. A sure sign of this is 'inappropriate peeing'.

And so my cunning plan is to make Ellen think this is happening! For the past couple of days I've left strategically placed messages, and now I can see her mind churn around . . . what's worse, a fat cat or pee on the floor? (I know which one she'll pick.)

Stay tuned for more news from this frightfully clever feline.

Smelly feet

Gee, some felines are stupid!