Demented

Life sucks. I've been completely off my food with Jeddah here and now I'm starving.

How can one dog take over the place completely? Everything revolves around him. He STILL has pride of place on the sofa and now he hogs my garden all day as well. I can't even go outside unless I want to encounter the stupid mutt.

And - get this - Ellen keeps taking him for walks. I know for a fact she missed a netball game on the weekend because she felt sorry for the stupid dog. And so she came home especially for him and all he did was sleep! (Yeah well OK, so she also had some work to do, which was a ridiculous sense of priority.) AND she keeps picking up his poop. She's gone demented and soft.

After eating nothing all weekend I finally regained my appetite today, but I still managed to chuck half my food up again. Well, if this doesn't help me lose weight, I don't know what will!

More pee problems

Not feeling too well today. It hurts to pee and to make sure Ellen knew about it I went in the bath -- just so she'd see it and know that I was miserable. It's the worst thing when this happens. It's back and forth between the litter tray and the bath and the shower, just to get some pee out. It's been so long since I've had this problem that I thought I was cured, but it would seem not.

Anyway, Ellen dragged me to the vet, and to be honest I didn't protest too much. We saw Dr Jenny, who is very familiar with my fragile bladder, and she gave me some anti-inflammatories and antibiotics, which will have Ellen shoving pills down my throat for the next week at least. But at least I feel a bit better.

A side-effect is that I'm back on the urinary food and off the 'obesity management' diet -- woo hoo! Although I'm not sure for how long. (You'd think it would teach them not to put me on a diet?!) I have a feeling that Dr Jenny and Ellen are concocting something between them in that department, though. They've even tried me on wet food this evening - strange stuff indeed. Not sure whether I like it or not yet.

anti-diet strategy

I'm still off my food, but for a completely different reason. I simply CAN'T STAND the diet food Ellen keeps trying to feed me. It's DISGUSTING.

So now I either leave it there and pester Ellen until she gives me some of the real stuff. Or I chuck it up again in an attempt to make Ellen stop feeding it to me.

Today I chucked up on the couch, and I know it's bothering Ellen, as she sits there, because she keeps wrinkling her nose. Even though she cleaned it up. I think she'll need to use something stronger to get the smell out.

He he he

Off my food

Thank the cat gods that's over. Three days locked inside, all alone. Forced to use litter trays. Simply awful.

At least there were three litter trays to chose from, although I only needed one. I found I lost my appetite through the whole ordeal actually. At first I kept coughing up hairballs and then I couldn't keep any food down. So there was quite a lot of food left over.

But I survived. And aside from leaving piles of half-digested food for Ellen to clean up, I didn't make any mess at all.

But I do hope my cat door gets fixed soon!

Cunning plan

I have a cunning plan to make Ellen stop feeding me diet rubbish food: pee on the floor! It's starting to work, I can feel it. My little messages of the past couple of days are having their effect!

Let me explain. I have been on a special diet for the last year or so, specially designed to prevent me from having bladder inflammation etc. (Enough said.) But by mixing the diet rubbish food with my special food, there's a chance it will stop having the positive effect, and I'll start having problems again. A sure sign of this is 'inappropriate peeing'.

And so my cunning plan is to make Ellen think this is happening! For the past couple of days I've left strategically placed messages, and now I can see her mind churn around . . . what's worse, a fat cat or pee on the floor? (I know which one she'll pick.)

Stay tuned for more news from this frightfully clever feline.

Still here!

Sorry it's been a while since I've posted -- almost four months in fact. But the good news is that I'm still here!

After that last incident, Ellen took me down to the island for a four-day weekend in November. I guess that'll teach me to make a statement! But it was nice to have a change of scene. I was very good while I was down there, and so long as my litter gets changed every day there's no reason for me to make a statement.

About three weeks ago, Ellen put me on a diet. She's been threatening this for months now, and the vet even e-mailed a suggested food scheme. But it took E so long to actually implement it that I assumed she'd forgotten. Not so lucky. Now, half my food comprises these disgusting diet pellets. They look like my normal food, but they are no more than a 'cheap' imitation. Yuck. I have to eat them, or else I'll starve, but I don't notice any weight coming off yet! (Not that I'm in any way fat, or anything.)

The week before last, we went back to the eye specialist. You know, the one who wants to yank my eye out? Well, I did NOT want to go there, and I made sure E knew it. She was so certain I would be good so long as she fed me before we went, but I wasn't falling for that again. To make it even more worthwhile, the vet had students witness my examination, and I'm not sure they'd ever encountered such a devilcat as I. Ha Ha! I showed them! Hiss, spit, scratch. In the end they had to wrap me up in a towel. (I didn't like that so much.)

Here's a photo of my eye -- the one that changed colour. I'll try to post photos after each examination -- for I have to go back AGAIN in another four months. But at least I get to keep my eye for the time being. The specialist vets are fascinated by my eye, and have evidently been asking other opinions in on-line vet chatrooms. Cool huh?

But do you know how off-putting it is hearing people talk about ripping your eye out? As though it was a splinter or something! I mean REALLY! This is my EYE we're talking about!

More alone time

A ha! Another five days of alone time. I'm gonna roam outside all night, get into fights, raid the pantry, pee all over the floor, catch rodents and leave them on the rug . . .

Sigh. Bliss.

HUNGRY

Hey, Ellen -- where the hell are you? How come it's nearly half past seven on a Friday and You're still not home? I'm HUNGRY dammit! HUNGRY.

A week of freedom

Well I never expected to be left home alone for an entire WEEK! That's what it was in the end. A whole week! Ellen never would have done that before I was five.

The talking food contraption whirred and spat out my food. The first few times I thought Ellen had come home because it played a stupid little message from her. It didn't take long however for me to have it sussed. Humans really do underestimate our intelligence.

The only living human I saw in all that time (aside from neighbours pottering about in the driveway) was Sarah, who came to refill the whirring food contraption a few times. Other than that, no-one. Nothing.

My feline flap was left open for the entire time so I roamed at large when and where I wanted. So aside from the fact that Ellen turned the heating off and the house was freezing, I was quite comfortable. And when it got too cold, I just crawled under the doona.

She came home yesterday and lounged about on the sofa all day while I slept on my cushion. The first thing she did was feed me. The second thing she did was put on the heating! It was very companionable.

Even though I am more than capable of looking after myself (so long as I am fed), it is nice to have her home.

so long as I get fed

Home alone again. This is the second night -- at least, E isn't home yet and she didn't come home last night and it's pretty late . . .

Now I know what the flying saucer thing was for -- the one that talks. Every morning and evening it whirrs and talks and rotates around until food is revealed. Sarah came around tonight and refilled it, so I can only assume E isn't coming home for another day or so . . .

Bored. But at least I can play outside. And so long as I get fed, I suppose it's not so bad.

Obesity management -- not!

Things are definitely afoot at the moment, and not in a good way. I've just found out that Dr C and E are colluding on my diet.

It seems that E is actually feeding me not-very-much-at-all (I could have told you that!) so the actual amount that I'm to eat isn't to be reduced at all (thanks to the cat gods). Instead, in order to lose weight (~1/2 kg), I've apparently got to have "royal canin obesity management" food mixed in with my urinary food.

What the --? OBESITY? I am NOT obese!

This is all Ellen's fault. She was the one who asked Dr C if she thought I was fat. And Ellen is the one who has clearly not been encouraging me to do enough exercise. It's her responsibility, not mine.

All this, and I've just been stuck at home alone for 24 hours as well. My life absolutely sucks.

My 5 favourite snacks

It seems there's this thing going around, where you tell everyone your 5 favourite things. Thought I'd join in the fun!

My 5 favourite snacks:
1. Royal Canon cat biscuits - specially formulated for cats with bladder problems! So far it's worked a treat (touch wood).
2. Tuna juice - I'd probably like tuna too, if Ellen would let me get near it, but all she leaves me is the juice. Yummy!
3. bolognaise sauce mix (or pretty much anything E cooks in her wok) - licked straight out of the pan!
4. smoked salmon - E usually leaves me a fragment
5. cereal milk - I know milk isn't supposed to be good for cats, but surely the dregs in the cereal bowl couldn't hurt?

It was good while it lasted

So Ellen comes home again and the first thing she does is lock me inside during the night. How come it's OK when she's not here, but not OK all the other times?

After two weekends of freedom in a row, I was starting to get used to it.

She put all the food away too, so now I have to wait until she feeds me, or pester her until she relents. It would be so much easier if she just put all the food in a bowl and let me decide when I'm hungry. How should she know how much food I need to eat?

Diminishing portions

I have a sneaking suspicion that Ellen has put me back on a diet. The scoops of food are definitely getting smaller . . . even though there is usually still three of them. Does she think I'm stupid, or what?

I thought I was onto something of late. All I need to do is sit on the keyboard when she's trying to write -- be it morning or evening, and she's doing both! -- and to get rid of me she'll give me food. It's been working a treat. Sometimes she'll even feed me four times in an evening.

But these diminishing portions are a concern. My belly starts rumbling much sooner. Doesn't she get that this means I'll just annoy her more frequently?

I'm monitoring the situation closely. Stay tuned.

Tucker chucker

This evening, I chucked up all my dinner at the front door. Dammit! I HATE chucking up my dinner for a number of reasons: 1) it leaves a gross taste in my mouth, 2) I end up hungry - although sometimes E gives me more food, 3) E usually leaves it there until I eat it up off the floor. I would so much rather she give me new food, but instead she makes me go hungry unless I eat up the stuff I've chucked! Disgusting.

It's all Ellen's fault for getting home late (9:30pm)! She then gave me all my dinner at once, instead of in small installments, and my stomach simply can't take it. Hence the chucking. If only she'd been patient and waited for me to eat installment number 1, followed by a 10 minute gap, before installment number 2. Definitely her fault.

Now I'm hungry and grumpy. Unless I go and see if the chucked up food is still there . . .

Neglected

I'm rather wondering why Ellen even bothered coming home. It's not as though she's been around much this week.

Do you think she'd notice if I didn't come home? I almost tried it this evening; I waited outside when she got home, instead of rushing inside for food, to see what she'd do.

But I couldn't last. I was too hungry. So I went in when she called, leaving her only mildly surprised.

Maybe I'll try again tomorrow.

mutter mutter

mutter mutter mutter . . . Ellen's hardly been home this week and I've been BORED. What does she mean by getting home so late every night? I mean, tonight it was after 11pm! And I get so HUNGRY while I'm waiting. And today I was LOCKED OUT by my stupid cat door which gets stuck sometimes, and it was a HOT DAY.

On the upside, I got to stay outside until 11pm tonight, which on a balmy night like tonight is way cool.

But now she tells me she's going away WITHOUT ME all weekend. And so I'll have to be more bored and rely on others to come and feed me. Geez.

mutter mutter mutter

Scramble for food

Ellen was home late today -- again -- but I forgave her because she came bearing food! With only a few crumbs left in my food barrel, I must admit I was getting anxious again, but thankfully she remembered my predicament.

It turns out that she rocked up at the vet to get my food, to find them in the process of locking up! Sensing doom, she begged to be allowed to purchase some food, and the very nice dog groomer let her in and searched for some freebie samples of the particular food I must eat. (Royal Canin urinary food).

When no freebie samples were to be found (at least of the cat variety), the kind dog groomer fired up the computer and allowed E to purchase a full bag. So lucky that E had cash on her, or things might have been tricky indeed!

Two things . . .

There are two things I want to mention today:

1. There is a huntsman spider in our house. Ellen didn't tell me about it at first, but I found it yesterday. It was sitting quite brazenly on the mirror in the bathroom, so of course I attacked it. Wriggly spiders are sooo much fun to play with! The best toys ever. But, alas, as spiders so often do, it got away. Now I think it is far too afraid to show itself again. I am pretending to ignore it for a few days, in order to lure it out again. Then we'll see!

2. My food supply is almost out! This is a cause for GRAVE concern. I heard Ellen say she was going to buy some today, but she came home without it. Instead, the food container is almost empty. In an attempt to make it through the next few days, in case Ellen forgets to buy food, I am rationing myself. Tonight I have only eaten half my dinner, just to make sure there is some left for the morning! This is TERRIBLE. I'm so HUNGRY.

(Maybe I'll have to eat that damned spider after all.)

Still got short whiskers

The vet newsletter today was about feline obesity. I'm really worried Ellen is going to put me on a diet again. I saw her looking closely at my whiskers to see if they'd grown longer. As you probably know, my whiskers are exactly as wide as me. You'd think I would know if they'd grown longer and I can tell you they haven't! It's bad enough having to eat the bladder-friendly food, without being on a diet.