Sunday 28 December 2008

Home invasion

I wasn't too impressed -- and not a little traumatised -- this morning when my home was invaded by a demon ginger cat! The evil one followed me inside, completely disregarding feline etiquette which states that houses are sacrosanct. Whoever heard of having to defend oneself in one's own living room?

So there we were, screeching and wrestling in the living room and the fur went flying (mine I regret to advise) and then Ellen bounded out of bed (for she had crawled back under the covers like a lazybones after opening my door this morning) and the evil demon cat ran away.

I moped about feeling sorry for myself while Ellen cleaned up the fur and some other regrettable mess, and then she locked me inside while she went out to breakfast. I believe she spent the morning asking after replacement cat flaps, because the whole reason the evil one could get in was because the magnetic mechanism no longer works owing to a previous repair job on the cat flap using non-magnetic strips of aluminium.

I confess I'm now a little uneasy because it's hard to relax inside when any moment I might be attacked by the evil one. I don't know what Ellen's going to do tomorrow when/if she goes out. I know she hates the idea of trespassing cats getting inside, especially the evil demon ginger cat. I have a feeling I might be locked inside all day. Not fun. But then, neither is being invaded.

At least it wasn't Zim Zam who attacked me. He is the ginger cat who lives in the driveway, and although we have regular confrontations, I know he would never break the taboo against entering the house of another cat!

Tuesday 16 December 2008

electric dreams

Thought you'd be interested to know that I've become rather attached to sleeping on top of the computer power transformer. Well, if Ellen will insist on sitting at her desk all the time, what else is a faithful feline to do but keep her company? I've tried her lap, but she gets wriggly. This way, I'm not in anybody's way and I get a nice warm buzz under my shoulder. Very soothing.

Tuesday 9 December 2008

Cunning plan

I have a cunning plan to make Ellen stop feeding me diet rubbish food: pee on the floor! It's starting to work, I can feel it. My little messages of the past couple of days are having their effect!

Let me explain. I have been on a special diet for the last year or so, specially designed to prevent me from having bladder inflammation etc. (Enough said.) But by mixing the diet rubbish food with my special food, there's a chance it will stop having the positive effect, and I'll start having problems again. A sure sign of this is 'inappropriate peeing'.

And so my cunning plan is to make Ellen think this is happening! For the past couple of days I've left strategically placed messages, and now I can see her mind churn around . . . what's worse, a fat cat or pee on the floor? (I know which one she'll pick.)

Stay tuned for more news from this frightfully clever feline.

Sunday 7 December 2008

Still here!

Sorry it's been a while since I've posted -- almost four months in fact. But the good news is that I'm still here!

After that last incident, Ellen took me down to the island for a four-day weekend in November. I guess that'll teach me to make a statement! But it was nice to have a change of scene. I was very good while I was down there, and so long as my litter gets changed every day there's no reason for me to make a statement.

About three weeks ago, Ellen put me on a diet. She's been threatening this for months now, and the vet even e-mailed a suggested food scheme. But it took E so long to actually implement it that I assumed she'd forgotten. Not so lucky. Now, half my food comprises these disgusting diet pellets. They look like my normal food, but they are no more than a 'cheap' imitation. Yuck. I have to eat them, or else I'll starve, but I don't notice any weight coming off yet! (Not that I'm in any way fat, or anything.)

The week before last, we went back to the eye specialist. You know, the one who wants to yank my eye out? Well, I did NOT want to go there, and I made sure E knew it. She was so certain I would be good so long as she fed me before we went, but I wasn't falling for that again. To make it even more worthwhile, the vet had students witness my examination, and I'm not sure they'd ever encountered such a devilcat as I. Ha Ha! I showed them! Hiss, spit, scratch. In the end they had to wrap me up in a towel. (I didn't like that so much.)

Here's a photo of my eye -- the one that changed colour. I'll try to post photos after each examination -- for I have to go back AGAIN in another four months. But at least I get to keep my eye for the time being. The specialist vets are fascinated by my eye, and have evidently been asking other opinions in on-line vet chatrooms. Cool huh?

But do you know how off-putting it is hearing people talk about ripping your eye out? As though it was a splinter or something! I mean REALLY! This is my EYE we're talking about!