Monday 13 April 2009

Pathetic (reputation shattered)

Ellen is home.

For three weeks I've been planning and plotting how I'm going to punish her, so that when she got home she would vow and declare never to do it again. (So, I'll admit it. Being home alone isn't all it's cracked up to be. A weekend is fine. No worries. But three weeks? That's just cruel and BORING.)

Many things passed through my mind (some of which Beth has alluded to in her previous post). But how to make it really good? A punishment worthy of the period of time? After all, I've been known to leave deposits after a mere weekend! Surely three weeks deserves something more. Bigger. Grander. More of a statement! (And bodily fluids are so passe!)

So I had it all worked out. I was going to hide. Hide, so that she thought I'd run away. I was going to stay away all day, make her feel really bad. (As well as all the bodily fluid deposits of course.)

But in this I have failed dismally. I took one look at her this morning and disintegrated into a blubbering mess. I meowed and cried and sooked, and followed her around the house, completely unbelieving she was finally home and fearful she would disappear again.

I am so PATHETIC. I still cannot allow her to leave my sight. The mere thought makes me quake.

I didn't even leave her ANY deposits. I clean forgot.

So much for my devilcat reputation!


Tracey said...
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Beth said...

Hmm, so, there you go. We are supposed to be an independent species. Are you sure you haven't got dog in you?

We'll have to think of a better name for you -- blubbing cat? Sooky puss? I don't know. I'll have to think of something. In the meantime, why don't you have a nice cry on her lap and sink your claws in? Gosh, did I say that? Maybe all your devilish ways have escaped into the ether!

Hope she's given you a big cuddle, at least!