Will you shred the curtains? Sharpen your claws on her lounge suite? Leave fleas in her bed? What about a deposit on the floor somewhere? (You might have to leave this till she's almost back or the neighbours might clean it up, and that would defeat the whole purpose.) Oh, what has come over me? I think I must be channelling you!
Oh, my life is so ho-hum in comparison. It's turning colder, and I want those no good dogs out of the house!
And do you like my new blue writing? I've decided that as guest blogger I need my own colour -- what do you think, oh naughty one?