Life sucks

Life sucks at the moment. I don't feel well. I can't eat. Last night I vomited, and this morning my bowels . . . well, let's just say they're not up to scratch and everything is runny.

Ellen keeps asking me if I'm all right. Can't she see I'm NOT? I try to explain exactly how terrible I'm feeling, and all she does is rattle the food bowl and ask me why I'm not eating. Can't she see I'm NOT HUNGRY?

Well, she wanted me on a diet . . .

And now there's an intruder in my garden so I can't even go outside. I think I'll just sulk inside for the rest of the day.